Do you feel your kids aren’t listening and you’ve tried everything?

It’s exhausting when you repeat yourself 10 times and still nothing happens. Before assuming your child is being “bad,” it helps to slow things down and focus on connection first. When kids feel seen and safe, their ears open up much more easily.

What to do, step by step:

1. Pause before reacting.
   
   • Take 1–2 deep breaths.
     
   • Tell yourself: “My child isn’t giving me a hard time; they’re having a hard time.”
     
2. Get on their level physically.
   
   • Walk over instead of calling from another room.
     
   • Kneel or sit so your eyes are at their eye level.
     
3. Gently get their attention.
   
   • Lightly touch their shoulder or arm.
     
   • Say their name softly: “Hey, Mia…”
     
   • Wait until they look at you, even if it takes a few seconds.
     
4. Connect before giving an instruction.
   
   • Notice and comment on what they’re doing:
     
     • “You’re really focused on that Lego tower.”
       
   • This shows respect and makes them feel important.
     
5. Give one clear, short instruction.
   
   • Avoid long speeches.
     
   • Say: “In two minutes, it’s time to put shoes on,” or
     “Right now I need you to put your toys in the bin.”
     
6. Ask for a repeat back.
   
   • Say: “Can you tell me what I just asked you to do?”
     
   • If they repeat it, they’ve actually heard you.
     
7. Offer a simple choice to increase cooperation.
   
   • “Do you want to put away the blocks or the cars first?”
     
   • Both options still lead to the result you want.
     
8. Follow through calmly.
   
   • If they don’t move, repeat calmly once:
     
     • “I see you’re having trouble starting. I’ll help you with the first three toys.”
       
   • Help a little, then let them continue.
     
9. Praise the effort, not perfection.
   
   • “Thank you for listening when I asked you to help.”
     
   • This makes listening feel good, not scary.